What's wrong with me ?

God, tell me straight on my face, why is he so special to me. It's all my fault to start this by a crush last year. And I really hate myself for setting up this immersion and now I can't stop this love. Yesterday I was late because of him, a sweet dream that cause me to be late. Blame him all. I dreamt that we got together. God, are you kidding me by giving me such a GREAT dream. On Monday, as I opened my gate, I saw him coming down. I was really happy to see him. Actually I've thought of giving him a smile but I dare not turn even back and face him. At the playground, he met a sec 1 boy and gave him something( which I do not know either, it looks like a PE shorts) and I overheard their conversation. I was nearly melted by the way he talked to him. So polite and sweet.
God, I had never fell for someone who is younger than me before. He is the first and only one.To me, he is still a BOY. A lovable,cheerful and well-mannered BOY. Yes, I'm going to hold him in my heart until someone overtakes him.